Super, Strong, Sexy

"Cradle" by Nico Mazza

"Cradle" by Nico Mazza

Waves cradling me.

Clouds dancing over a static moon.

The smell of sea salt mixing with the taste of coconuts.

I feel myself here and still drifting away.

Faint music anchors me.

* * * * * * * * *

I was in elementary school when I had a dream my grandfather passed away. He did. My mom and my aunts had the same dream, but no one believed me until they left me behind and drove to his home to find it wasn’t just a nightmare. When I arrived a few hours later, the whole family had convened, and when a tear streamed down my face my cousin said, “Don’t cry. You know you are everyone’s favorite. They won’t be able to control themselves if they see you sad.” I never really cried again until college.

When I met my best friend at the time for a play date, she turned to me in the back of her mom’s car and said, “I don’t think we can be friends anymore. Somehow you are different. You’re a grown up now.”

” * * * * * * * * *

It was the scandal of 2002; a freshman girl dating a senior guy! To top it off, he was Muslim, and she was Hindu. It took the entire year to confess feelings, and then I went to India for the summer.

A few months later, in the fall, sitting on a bench, he said to me:

“I cheated on you. But when you came back you were different. You were so painfully introverted and depressed and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you, but this isn’t helping, so I had to tell you.”

I simply replied:

“Thanks for telling me.” I was sexually assaulted. I can’t even hug my mom. I’m scared. But at least I’m not with a liar or a cheater anymore – I deserve better.

* * * * * * * * *

“I love you.”

“Let’s be friends.”

“I can’t have anything to do with you.”

Repeat for three and a half years.

* * * * * * * * *

“I completely understand why he raped you. You’re so frustrating! You deserved it.”

* * * * * * * * *

Brunch with a girlfriend:

“Don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t know if it’s the time you spent in the desert or dancing tango, but you are even more gorgeous than in college.”

“Not at all. Thank you. I think I just finally know myself.”

Submitted by Anonymous, Edited by Arianne Keegan